


Enzeru

by HPFandom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, M/M, Out of Character, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-22
Updated: 2008-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-30 12:18:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10162865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFandom_archivist/pseuds/HPFandom_archivist
Summary: .:Prequel to Liberate Me. Can be read as a standalone. JPSS slash. Vamp.Severus.:. It had been in that moment of lustful stupor, that James had known Severus Snape was someone he could possibly fall in love with. Oneshot





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Severus Snape, James Potter, or any other character found within J.K. Rowling’s novels. To elaborate further, I also do not intend this fanfiction to be any form of slander, nor do I make profit from it._

_Notes: This is the prequel to Liberate Me, but you can read it as a standalone if you wish. I won’t stop you._

_Notes2: Un-beta’ed. I’d read over it, but it’s 5am. I’m tired. Deal with it, k?_

_Dedication: To all Liberate Me readers. I owe you guys so much._

_WarningsAU, slash, mentions of abuse of a minor, language, and mentions of suicide (no major character death)._

**Enzeru**

It was when night fell and the moon created pockets of secretive shadows that James Potter allowed himself the childish pleasure of sneaking out from the seventh year boys dormitory. And it was always with a small pang of guilt that he would cover his body with the heirloom Invisibility Cloak, as his deep brown eyes stared at the forms of his slumbering friends. His mind knew their anger should they discover his actions -- knew their hurt should they realize his desire to sometimes be alone. And yet, despite knowing this, despite his unfathomable loyalty to his three friends, his feet would carry him away from their presence at least twice a week, to an area of delicious seclusion, where he could dream himself, breathe himself.

Be himself.

And tonight was the second night of the week, where he rested against the barrier of the top of the Astronomy Tower, upper half dangling precariously over the side, mind morbidly imagining a gruesome fall, contemplating the experience and the events after. His glasses, traditionally large and sometimes bothersome, slid from the bridge of his nose to stop just at the tip, taunting him with the possibility of going over. As every other night, he did not humor the metallic contraption, and instead allowed his gaze to scan the wet ground so far below him. A small grin lit up his pale face at the sight of Fang, Hagrid’s overly large hound, who was currently darting after some unseen creature. Bathed in the moonlight, it was not difficult for him to see the look of ecstasy on the dog’s face, and for one moment, he felt a ridiculous pang of jealousy that this animal could enjoy the feeling of freedom that he could not.

The thought brought about a sigh.

He was within five months of graduation, and though that was the point where many his age began to live, James felt as though it was the point his life would begin its spiral into stiff redundancy. Already, he was scheduled to start work at Ministry of Magic a week after he received his Scroll, and his mother already had him looking at several flats in the surrounding area. His Aunt Betrepulus, though so near her death bed, had been bringing a new young witch with her every time she came to dinner for the past half year, and it was only after announcing he was practically engaged to the vivacious Lily Evans that she had stopped, a large, beaming smile on her face. Never mind, of course, that his announcement was an untruth -- so long as it kept the woman off of his back, and his parents from prying too much into his personal life to discover his well-kept secret, then he had no guilt in his lying.

Not that homosexuality in the Wizarding Community was rare or looked down upon or anything like that. It was his parents’ traditional mind set, and his Aunt Betrepulus’ Squib upbringing that kept him from announcing to the world that he fancied blokes. That while he found women attractive, it was with a man that he wished to share the rest of his life with. Oh, the looks on their faces if they heard that one, he could just imagine! At least Remus and Sirius were alright with it, and Peter … well … he didn’t think his short friend really cared one way or the other.

Another sigh escaped his lips. Such a tight leash his freedom came on.

His dark head shot up at the sound of heavy, racing footfall upon the stone stairs of the tower, and with a muttered curse, James was quick to pull his Invisibility Cloak about him and stumble away from the wall. The serenity of the moonlit night was quickly demolished as he waited with dread to see his intruder, half convinced one of the Marauders had followed him up here, or that Peter had sold him out. The only one he knew of his nightly wanderings, he’d string the rat up by his ankles if he had breathed a word …

And then, from the archway of the stairs, Severus Snape stumbled out, and James’ mind ceased to think its pointless thoughts.

The seventeen-year-old had a split internal opinion when it came to his year mate once dubbed “Snivellus”. Such terms were long gone by now, of course, with his thoughts pulled toward the future instead of a petty childish insults and arguments. Not that Snape had forgiven him, of course, and not that James had given him any reason to. Until tonight, he actually could not recall seeing the other wizard much throughout the year.

And oddly enough, his eyes were appreciating the sight.

The Slytherin rested where James had been just a moment before -- slight form pressed up against the stone barrier, face titled toward the sky. He was startled to see the obsidian eyes shining with tears, embraced by the caress of the moon who was unable to sooth the hurt. He noticed pale hands begin to shake as they clutched tightly to an apparently unwelcome support.

“Why?”

The whisper made a shiver run down James’ spine, though more from the chill behind it than any form of desire. The emotion in Snape’s laden voice was tortured, as though it had been ripped to shreds and the wizard had been conscious to feel it all. As the older boy’s face began to crumble from its infamous Slytherin mask, James recalled something Lily had muttered about a few days before. Something about Snape being absent, and his mother … James blinked.

His mother. That was it. Hirana Snape had committed suicide via some unknown poison, after slaughtering her husband with a curse she had invented. One that had nearly cut the man clean in half, and left his remains nearly melted into the floor. In the wake of their death, Severus Snape was the sole remaining member of the name -- a lord and orphan in just one day.

_“Why?!”_

And it appeared that he was finally breaking.

Normally, whether he liked the student or not, James would have tried to offer some help. Whether it be a lent ear or the fetching of a Head of House, grief was not something James relished in other students suffering, even if the other student was Snape. But now, instead of allowing his body to carry out such actions, he simply stood. Stood, waited, and watched as the taller wizard slowly lost his grip on sanity, something urging him to stay. Something pulling at his gut, forcing his ground.

And then it came. A horrible, wounded cry that seemed to come from the very core of Snape’s being. It tore through his throat and echoed in the night, destroying the serenity. Once cut off, the cry was followed by a series of guttural growls of sorrow and rage, his back arching and popping in painful ways that had James’ magical senses going haywire in warning. But it wasn’t fast enough, a burst of bright dark violet light forcing his eyes closed in protection, Snape’s painful groans not lost on him. And then the light faded, and slowly, cautiously, brown eyes opened to search what he was sure was a destroyed surrounding.

Only to see before him, a creature he did not, until now, believe existed.

Tall, pale, and naked from the waist up, it was the wings that caught James’ eye. Four large, looming ebony wings, two spanning out from each shoulder blade, feathers an inviting glossy texture. They gleamed with sweat from their owner in the light, dripping in a way that instantly made the connection with tears. He saw how they quivered in time with Severus’ whimpers, how they too seemed to be mourning,, and suddenly he felt like the intruder. With a mumbled curse, he moved backward, intent on returning to his dorm and leaving the teenager in peace, when the voice stopped him.

“Not what you expected, am I, Potter?”

It wasn’t arrogant and cocky, as it usually was, but weary and defeated, as though he no longer cared. Slowly, guiltily, James raised his eyes, only to see that Snape had not moved from his position, and had instead identified him on instinct alone. Throat suddenly dry, he swallowed audibly before replying, removing his cloak as he did so.

“I’m sorry.” It came out cracked. “I was just leaving.”

“To tell your Marauder friends about this, I’m sure.” Again, the tone was dead. “Go ahead. There’s no reason for me to care anymore, nothing more to protect with this secret. So you just go ahead and go and tell everyone you can, and don’t forget to add how pathetic I was, sniveling up here like a child. Certainly everyone will get a kick out of that. Lucius included …” James frowned at the uncharacteristic negativity.

“I wouldn’t do that,” he said soothingly. “I was just going so that you could have some privacy. I can get Dumbledore for you, though, if you’d like?” But even as he offered, his feet were carrying him back to where he stood, closer to Snape than he was sure either of them would have liked, but yet neither protested the proximity. And then he blinked, for the closer he got, the better he could see Snape. Could where, between the wings, there was the back they were protecting. The back whose skin was littered in dozens upon dozens of scars, some very old, and some horrifically new. And just like that, his mind lit up as though it were a Muggle Christmas Tree, and suddenly he was closer to Snape than he had ever been before, and didn’t mind.

“What are you?” He whispered in awe, unconsciously reaching out a hand to ghost over the wings. His magic sensed danger, but there was something else that calmed his paranoid mind. Something about the way that Snape did not shy from his touch, something about the way the still-falling tears traveled down his face, something about the sorrow that endeared him to James past the point of sanity. When the tips of his fingers grazed the soft black wings, a jolt raced up his arm and slammed into his body, and evidently Snape had felt it to, for he had whirled around, and now they were face to face, their noses touching, and James realized that Snape’s eyes were now complete pits of oblivion. Realized there was something different, dangerous. Realized there were slight dents in Snape’s lips where his canines were, realized the lustful expression in the floating orbs of nothingness. Realized that here he was, perfectly ready and willing to kiss a boy he had once thought of as the most disgusting creature on Earth, without even knowing exactly what he was. He blinked slowly at the sensation of soft lips ghosting over his, his body tingling inexplicably.

And then, just as sharply as it had all started, Snape jerked away, and before James could comprehend what had happened, the winged wizard jumped over the side, disappearing from sight. Horrified, James threw himself halfway over the barrier, only to see the silhouette of hid previous quarry flying toward the Forbidden Forest, four wings spread out in a magnificent stance. And he watched, until the light from the moon no longer allowed him visual.

Severus Snape. James shook his head to clear it. An angel? A demon? Certainly no creature he had ever heard about before. And certainly a man he was supposed to despise.

And at that thought, a smirk crossed James’ face. He was tired of always doing what he was supposed to do, hadn’t he just been thinking that? Two years ago, yes, he had hated Severus Snape with a fervent passion. And though that passion had dulled over the years, tonight it had dissipated completely . Tonight, he had seen Snape in a completely different light, in a completely different way. Beautiful. Powerful. Broken.

Snape, he hated. Severus was someone completely new. An enigma.

He stepped away from the barrier, grin still in place as he draped his Invisibility Cloak around himself once more. Tomorrow, he would go to Remus, and together, with Sirius whining close by, they would search for what Severus was. Tomorrow, he would watch him, study him, and see if the spark that had been there tonight, was still there. His mind assured him it would be.

A few mere minutes ago, he had been so sure that his life was destiny written in stone. That he would be forced a path of unhappiness for the duration of his living life. But it had been that moment, when the wings had sprouted from Severus back, and his façade had dropped, that James’ life had suddenly been changed by what he had immediately identified as an Angel. It had been in that moment of lustful stupor, that James had known Severus Snape was someone he could possibly fall in love with.

With a swish of his robes that had a wandering Mrs. Norris hissing with narrowed eyes, James returned to Hogwarts, content with his new found knowledge and goal, eyes glancing out the window toward the Forbidden Forest.

**Complete**


End file.
